Minding your Manners (or Quilt Retreat Etiquette)

Usually once a year – more than once a year if I run across new ideas or helpful tools – I write a blog about quilt retreats.  According to the Quilt Retreat Registry there are over 100 locations in the United States designated for use as quilt retreats.  These can range from converted homes, hotels with rooms designed specifically for quilters, to smaller convention centers with a passion for hosting quilters, to quilt shops with large rooms or who rent out parts of local hotels.  For a list of quilt retreat locations near you, go here: https://ronatheribbiter.com/quilt-retreat-centers-us/.  Rona the Ribbiter breaks down quilt retreat locations by state. 

This blog is a little different.  This is a blog which talks a bit about retreat “etiquette” and a few things to be mindful of if you venture into quilt retreat category.  My local guild has hosted a retreat since 2012, and I make arrangements for it as well as field and filter any issues we may have – and there have been times when there have been some … situations arise I never thought of and had to deal with.  Whether you’re a seasoned retreater or one new to the experience, it may be worth your while to take a minute to peruse this week’s blog.

Come Prepared and Organized

If you’re new to quilt retreats, the whole experience of packing up your sewing area and transporting it to a new location can seem kind of daunting.  You worry about forgetting something important or something you really need.  And when you glance over your fabric and patterns, all of it seems a bit overwhelming.  What do you bring and what do you leave at home?

I really like these types of boxes:

You can find the clear, plastic boxes at Amazon, some dollar store establishments, and office supply places.  I use one box per project and double check to make sure I have all my fabric and any specialty notions for the project in the box (thread, fusible webbing, special rulers, etc.), as well as the pattern.  Then I take an index card and list the name of the project, difficulty level, how close I am to finishing it, and what’s in the box – just in case I need to “borrow” from one project to the next.  I personally think these boxes are a great way to keep everything corralled.   And the box doesn’t have to be clear plastic.  Sturdy cardboard boxes with lids work just as well.

General sewing supplies work a bit differently.  Items such as rotary cutters, extra blades, extra sewing machine needles, scissors, marking tools, etc., can be used in all projects.  I try to make a place to keep all of these together.  Recently I discovered this:

It’s a collapsible, three-tiered rolling cart with locking wheels.  The shelves have a lip around them, so items don’t fall off.  This works great for organizing fabric units if you’re chain piecing as well as a wonderful place to corral some of your larger sewing tools – such as rotary mats and pressing surfaces. 

I have also purchased this:

I found this tool caddy at a yard sale with the price tag still on it.  I think it will work wonderfully for keeping my rulers organized and for storing my rotary cutters, basting glue and spools of thread. 

And if you’re still worried about remembering all your general sewing supplies, I can offer you my packing system.  A couple of weeks out from the retreat date, I set a box or basket near my sewing machine.  Every time I pick up a tool to use it, I place it in the box or basket when I’m through.  This gives me a good idea about what to take with me.  If you’re still a bit daunted, Google retreat packing lists.  There are several great ones on the internet. 

With all of that said, there still is something to consider and that’s the sewing space – both yours individually and the space as a whole.  My guild’s retreat is held in a conference room at a state park.  It is large and well-lit, and since we limit the number of retreaters, we all have plenty of space to bring our collapsible wagons, carts, and a couple of sewing machines.  We each have two tables and a nice chair.  However, if I decided to attend a retreat I wasn’t familiar with – I didn’t know how much sewing space would be available to me – I would ask about it before I packed a single thing.  I wouldn’t want to encroach on anyone else’s space, so I would be mindful about what I brought.

Know Your Machine and Bring Your Manual and Maybe Even Your iPad

Chances are that your machine will get a great deal of use during the quilt retreat.  As a matter of fact, if you haven’t had your machine serviced within a year or eighteen months prior to the retreat, you may want to call your tech and get your machine a “spa day” before loading her up and hitting the road. 

If your machine is a recent purchase, be sure you know the basics.  Quilters are among the most patient and generous folks I know, and if you have an issue with your machine, chances are good several of them will help you figure out any problems.  However, it helps to remember that:

1. No one else at the retreat may have your brand of machine; and
2. It’s their quilt retreat, too.  They have arrived with unfinished projects they want to complete and new ones they want to start.  Don’t monopolize their time.  Bring your manual to help troubleshoot any issues.  An iPad or cell phone will allow you access to YouTube or other sites which also can help you (how did we ever quilt without the internet?). 

Have a Good Idea About What You’re Doing

A quilt retreat is a great place to get quilty ideas and learn new tricks, tips, and techniques – however, it’s not a workshop (unless one is given at the retreat) or class.  If you’re having some issues with a block or technique, having all that quilting knowledge in one room is a huge advantage – quilters will help other quilters.  But I caution again, don’t monopolize someone’s time.  Don’t expect to have someone hold your hand as you complete each unit and block.  If you run into part of a quilt you are really having issues with and you’ve asked for help, but you still can’t quite “get it,” there are a few steps you can take yourself:

1.  Put the project away and work on something else for a while.  Quite often our brains simply need a break away from what we’re working on.
2. Google the pattern.  There may be pattern corrections, a blog, a YouTube video or some other type of instruction which can help you (another great reason for bringing your iPad). 

Don’t Bring Anything You’re Asked Not to Bring

Sometime the location of the retreat may have certain regulations.  If the retreat is at a hotel with a restaurant, they may ask for no outside food deliveries.  If it’s at a religious retreat center, the rules may include no adult beverages.  Be sure to read through all the retreat information before packing to make sure you’re in compliance.

Honestly the biggest issue I’ve personally had with this is irons.  Yup.  Irons.  While most quilters can’t quilt without one, your retreat information may ask that you limit pressing tools to small, travel-type irons.  There is a reason for this rule.  Unless the retreat location has been built to specifically house quilters and other crafters who use irons, the fuses and wiring may not accommodate a lot of irons being plugged in at the same time.  Irons pull a lot of voltage.  If you have a room full of quilters and each of them has a standard iron and all of those irons are plugged in, some fuses are gonna blow and the power will go out until the fuse can be fixed.  More than likely the retreat organizer will ask one or two specific folks to bring their regular irons and set up pressing stations for everyone to use. 

Pets – most specifically dogs – have also become an issue.  Another quilter friend of mine who has a by-invitation-only retreat let me know she finally had to issue a “No Pets” rule.  She never dreamed she would have to do this, but she had several quilters ask to bring their pets to the retreat.  “It never occurred to me anyone would want to bring their pet to a quilt retreat,” she told me.  “There are needles and pins everywhere and all we needed was a couple of dogs to get underfoot and trip up some of us old geezers.”  Chances are, no matter how much you adore Fido or Fluffy, they can’t come to retreat.  If there isn’t a written rule about pets, ask someone before you show up with yours. 

Be Considerate of Others

This sounds like such a basic rule, especially considering how awesome most quilters are.  However, sometimes we are so locked into our normal routine, we forget how it may affect others.  If you normally use a scented body wash, you may want to opt for a non-scented one during retreat.  Some retreaters may have sensitive noses or get migraines from the odors which don’t bother us at all.  So when you pack your personal items, you may want to opt for unscented body wash, shampoo, and lotion.  Along with your iPad, pack your ear buds.  Just because you’re interested in a YouTube video or want to listen to some music doesn’t mean those around want to hear it, too. 

If there are designated cutting areas, use those for short cutting steps.  Plan to do major cutting at home.  Cut out your quilt there, not at retreat.  Be mindful of space.  If you need to run extension cords, bring some tape to secure them to the floor so they won’t be a trip hazard.  Keep your quilting supplies in your space.

Pack Mindfully

We are so careful as we pack for retreats – we organize, re-organize, and pack – making sure we have all our necessary supplies and projects.  If I can offer one word of advice about packing, it would be this:  Remember what goes in must come out.  Everything you bring to retreat, must go home.  And while we really want to sew until the last minute, it’s really good to hit the pause button about an hour before leaving and start to pack up  as mindfully as we packed to come to the retreat.  Make sure all the projects are back in their boxes along with any special thread, rulers, fusibles, etc.  Be sure you pack the foot pedal to your sewing machine.  Check to see if you left any rulers or rotary cutters at the cutting area.  Unplug your iron and give it time to cool down.  I try to break down my area in the order I’ll unpack it at home.  This really saves me time once I re-enter my non-retreat reality. 

Also tidy up the area.  While most retreat locations plan to clean up behind their customers, it’s nice to have the larger pieces of fabric which may clog the vacuum picked up off the floor. 

Watch the Snacks and Beverages

If the retreat location does allow adult beverages, know what places open containers are appropriate and where they’re not allowed.  If everyone is asked to bring a snack (at my retreat, the snack table is legendary – my guild has such good cooks!), be sure to have enough for everyone and something which doesn’t require refrigeration (unless you have access to a refrigerator). 

If you have dietary restrictions, you may want to keep your snacks in your sewing area, so they won’t accidentally be eaten by everyone else.  You gotta eat to have energy for quilting marathons!

And Finally A Few Last Thoughts….

1.  Bring a cushy for your tushy.  No matter how wonderful the chairs are, at a retreat you’re sitting for much longer periods of time than what’s normal for you.  A cushion for the bottom of your chair may help ease some aches and pains.
2. Bring an extra light.  I’ve found the lighting in a room can change throughout the day.  The room where my guild has its retreat has a wall of windows on one side, so the daytime lighting is great, but at night it’s not so great.  An extra sewing light (besides the one on your machine) is a handy thing to have.
3. Bring a variety of projects.  You may come to retreat with a quilt all cut and prepped and ready to go, thinking that you’ll get that top completed and ready for quilting.  But take it from someone who’s been there, by the end of Day Two, you’ll need a break from the project to keep your sanity intact.  Bring some handwork and two or three other projects to work on.
4. Extra fabric may come in handy.  Quilters are infamously creative, and chances are you’ll see new patterns, tips, or techniques you want to try.  A few extra fat quarters thrown in your bag will allow you to try these out during retreat, so you don’t forget anything when you get home.
5. We’re not college students any longer.  Forget the all-nighters.  During the very first quilt retreat I participated in, I made the mistake of sewing until the wee hours of the next day.  And I suffered for it.  The following day found me tired, achy, and grouchy.  Try to stay on your regular sleep schedule.  This keeps life pleasant for others and better for you. 
6. Bring a positive attitude.  All the folks coming to retreat are looking forward to a good time of fellowship, fun, and creativity.  Don’t be a “Debbie Downer.”  Even if your quilt project turns out all kinds of wrong and you’re concerned about things other than quilting, don’t let a negative attitude try to be your BFF.  As Thumper said, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothing at all.”

I do hope you’re able to attend a quilt retreat, a quilt cruise, or even an all-day quilt bee.  There’s nothing like quilty fellowship and experiencing all that creativity in one room. 

Until Next Week, From My Studio to Yours,

Love and Stitches,

Sherri and Felix

PS — Continue to keep Western North Carolina in your thoughts and prayers. Asheville is completely cut off, and some small towns have been completely wiped off the map. There is a dire need for bottled water, infant formula, diapers, baby wipes, and just the basics we take so much for granted. Lots of nonprofits are in place, working to make sure folks are rescued, emergency workers and folks have hot meals and a place to stay, etc. The outpouring of care, concern, and physically meeting folks needs is amazing. If you feel led to donate, go here:https://www.bpr.org/bpr-news/2024-09-28/list-ways-to-donate-and-help-flood-victims-in-western-north-carolina-after-hurricane-helene.